Writing your own vows may seem like one of the most exhausting parts of planning a wedding. The eyes of all your friends and family on you while you try to fit your and your partners love story, dreams, and the actual vow, into a two minute speech; kind of seems like a nightmare. We’re here to help! Here are five simple pieces of advice to make writing your vows a little less daunting.
Start Right Away - and Agree on Tone and Format with Your Partner
Take away some of the stress of your vows by starting on them as soon as you can. It's easier to revisit and improve over several months than it is to write it the night before through a bachelorette party haze. No matter how alike you and your fiancé may be, avoid any confusion by having a discussion about your vows. Find a tone, length, and level of intimacy you both are comfortable with. Clarify stories that are off limits. The length should also be established as well, you wouldn't want one to be a long heartfelt sonnet while the other is a brief and sweet haiku.
Don't Worry About Being Cheesy
This is the love of your life on your wedding day; embrace the sentiment! Even if you aren't normally a very touchy-feely person, this can be a good time to really dig deep and speak from the heart. You should still be yourself, but it's okay to show your softer side during this special moment.
Make Your Vow a Promise, but Don't Promise Perfection
The definition of the word vow is "a solemn promise". You and your partner’s vows are promises to each other at the start of your new life together. You both are probably as optimistic as can be, it's hard to imagine anything but a perfect life with your loved one in these moments. Remember that you are both human, and will eventually make mistakes. Make promises of unconditional love, forgiveness, or gratitude. Try to steer away from promising to never get mad or to always unload the dishwasher first. You are both imperfect humans who love each other enough to permanently intertwine their lives together, that's better than perfection.
Share Stories Without Sharing Everything
Who doesn't want to share all of the personal stories, inside jokes, and embarrassing moments created with your partner to all your loved ones? Though it may be tempting, try to keep the stories to a minimum for time’s sake. You want everyone to feel included in your vows as well. Try to tell stories that are easy to explain and everyone can understand.
Don't Forget to Say I Love You!
Although it may seem like there are a lot of the do's and don'ts to writing your vows, it all comes back to what your wedding day is about; the love shared between you and your partner. If you can only get out one sentence, let it be "I love you".
Don’t let your vows overwhelm you. The vows being exchanged should reflect you and your fiancé, not any rules or “vow formulas”. When you need some inspiration, read some online or even better, watch some videos on YouTube. Let your vows be about your love for each other. Don’t forget to practice!