"The dictionary definition of the word vow is literally 'to solemnly promise to do a specified thing.' So vows are an anchor that hold us steady. Remember that these vows are not just words. They are not just fancy words that you'll say to each other to make each other feel good. But they represent the commitment you make to be present in your marriage for all the day and all the years you'll be together." -Stephanie Merchant
Your wedding vows set the stage for your wedding. They remind people why they are there. Your vows by no means have to be hand written, but you do have to mean them. Like it says in the quote above, your vows are what ground you. They remind you both in the good times and the bad times why you choose to be married. So now, to write your own vows or to not write your own vows.
Writing Your Own Vows
Maybe you're an avid writer and you've got this vow thing on lock, but if the idea of trying to articulate just how much your fiancé means to you makes you want to run away and hide, we are here for you. Because vows are weighty they make you dig deep and can make you feel like your words are inadequate. So here are a few questions to help you talk about your love and kick writers block in the butt. To see the full list visit 'Tips for Writing Your Own Vows' on The Knot's blog.
- What did you think when you first saw your fiancé?
- When did you realize you were in love?
- What hard times have you gone through together?
- What do you most respect about your partner?
- What do you want to accomplish together?
Updating Traditional Vows
If writing your own vows, seems like one more thing to do or honestly just something you're not excited about doing, don't worry. There are lots of modern day vow templates to help you spice up the traditional "...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.." Below are a few of our favorite updated vows from '25 Real Wedding Vows That Will Make You Laugh (And Cry).' If you like this option, there are even more vow options in the article, ranging from modern vows to romantic vows to religious vows. All with a fresh take.
"I take you as you are, loving who you are now and who you are yet to become. I promise to listen to you and learn from you, to support you and accept your support. I will celebrate your triumphs and mourn your losses as though they were my own. I will love you and have faith in your love for me, through all our years and all that life may bring us."
"Alex, you are my best friend. I promise to laugh with you, cry with you, and grow with you. I will love you when we are together and when we are apart. I promise to support your dreams and to respect our differences, and to love you and be by your side through all the days and nights of our lives."
Etsy is full of of vow book options. You can get them customized, find them in every color and style. Keep scrolling for a few of our faves!
For the classic bride, these black and white booklets with embossed, gold lettering would look perfect in a formal venue, even outdoors if the venue was still upscale. Find it on Paper Cut Me Not's Etsy page for $22. You can change the embossing color and add a custom line for you and your fiancé's name.
For the romantic bride, these soft velvet booklets also come in blue, and the set can include His + His, His + Hers and Hers + Hers. Can you imagine the flatlay your photographer could capture with these?! Find them for $35 on Kelsey Malie's Etsy page.
For the fun bride, a patterned vow book with some color! Firefly Paper Studio actually has 14 different patterned booklets if florals aren't really your thing. Plus, these are the most cost effective of the three we are featuring. You can get a set for just $17.
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